Technically it’s all capitals. NED. No Evidence of Disease.
They don’t call it remission anymore. It means at this moment, right now, I am cancer-free. Technically, I have been cancer-free since the day they cut the tumors out of my body, but today is the first time the oncologist typed it in his computer in my file. Status: NED. Just like that, 3 little letters and it’s all over.
I’m hoping to be one of those people that goes forward with positivity and doesn’t let the ‘what ifs’ creep in too much. But honestly, it’s going to be hard. Luck hasn’t exactly been on my side. One could say if something bad can happen to me or my family, it usually does.
Last night, my girlfriends came over for (a lot) of wine (too much really) and a little celebrating. Celebrating our last few nights with kids at camp, my new job, a friend’s new job, and the end of this cancer-journey (pre-emptively). There was talk of finding a witch-doctor. To get rid of the clouds. To de-jinx me or whatever you would call it. Yes, we have gotten to the point where we will be burning sage and chanting.
Sure, some things are turning: I have clients. Real paying clients who call me and ask me to make them budgets. And I got a job for a super cool person that I am very excited to start soon. But my kid is still sick – good thing I go started on the client today, because I just found out I have to take her to the hospital again on Monday. My husband is still sick. We need to find that witch-doctor, stat.
In the meantime, I’ll focus on my new friend Ned. Don’t be surprised if I end up with a Ned tattoo soon. Seriously.