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Apr 04

Clouds moving in, again

The whole premise of the blog is out-running the cartoon clouds over my head. The damn things have been following me for years:

  • the Cystic Fibrosis cloud over jay’s head
  • the infertility cloud
  • the loooooong adoption cloud
  • my mom’s cancer
  • the transplant cloud
  • and then my cancer cloud

not to mention my friend and family’s clouds, that, while not mine, deeply affected us.

This past few weeks, more clouds moved in. More like tornadoes. Jay is having some transplant complications. And the store was giving us anxiety. It’s very hard to be a business owner when you are not physically able to be at work everyday. So today, we did this.

13 years…. we are still in shock.

I don’t know what the future holds. I want to say this happened because of cancer, but cancer is just one part of it. I’m actually feeling pretty ok, physically, that is not the reason why I can’t go to work every day at that particular job. But business-ownership, it’s a whole other kettle of fish. And we are just too tired, too run down. Onward, the time as come.

That damn fucking cloud.

 

4 comments

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  1. Nance

    Sorry things have gotten so rough. I still believe you will outrun these clouds some day.

  2. Jen Chavez-Miller

    Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your latest cloud. Sending love your way.

  3. Debberoo

    V,

    I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all that you and J and your family have gone through, one cloud is bad, two is worse but when the damn things just keep coming and coming :(

    For what its worth I think you made a great decision. The grief will be great and, like the grieving of any loss, it will come in waves and catch you in unexpected moments but you know you have done what is the best for you and yours at this moment. You are closing one chapter to allow yourself to open the next, may it be filled with good things for all of you and sunshine, lots and lots of warm, feel good sunshine. xxx

  4. Mary S

    Dear V,

    I hear you. I am tired but not always physically tired…more like running on a hamsterwheel kind of tired. I feel like I am always doing stuff, not getting ahead and still ending up exhausted. And I’ve been thinking about make changes but that takes courage. What you did today took courage to say that it is for the best and you need to put yourself and your family first right now. Someone brought you up to me in a conversation the other day and said that you inspire her with your strength, courage and resilience through all this. You inspire me too and I hope that our paths will cross soon. I will do my best to come visit your store before the end of the month…and give you a big hug. Wishing you only good things that bring light and love to your life.

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