A few weeks ago, my co-worker/work-wife/daytime-BFF told me she had to cut herself out of her coat. Her zipper had become stuck and she couldn’t get out of it and she started to hyper-ventilate a bit and cut herself out of her coat. At the time, I made fun of her. I mean, it’s a coat, not a locked box!
Well, let me publicly apologize to her. Because today, I got stuck in my neck-warmer and totally was bordering on a panic attack. You see, I went skiing with the kids. During lunch, I started to feel a hot flash coming on. My first reaction was to unzip and remove my hoodie immediately, but I was still sweating profusely, in a public place, with snowpants, long-johns, and a thermal top. Even the kids were looking at me funny. ‘Mom, are you ok? You are all wet!’ That’s when it occurred to me that I was still wearing my fleece neckwarmer (I always lose those suckers so I don’t usually take it off inside). I tried to take it off, but I was so hot and sweaty and uncomfortable, and my left arm won’t raise up at all since last week, that I got stuck. Yes, I got stuck. Trying to yank it off with only my right hand while sweating profusely proved to be impossible and my kids had to yank it off for me. The teenagers at the next table sure were wondering what the hell was going on.
So I’m sorry I made fun of you Dee. I too now have been the victim of an attempted-suffocation by apparel. It’s not funny. Except it sort of is….
You know what else doesn’t go well with hot flashes? Snow shoeing. You sweat like a mo-fo when you snow-shoe, the last thing you need is a hot flash. And you know what else? Icy-hot muscle cream. Because when your snowshoeing/skiing legs are achy and you think ‘Oh, this will make them feel nice’, the last thing you think of is ‘oh, it will also increase my body temperature by another 10 degrees’