I just wrote a whole long post and deleted it. Let me sum it up in 10 words: I’m in pain, I’m fed up, I don’t have a surgery date.
Until a few weeks ago, I had never heard of Survivorship Plans. Some cancer centers have them, for patients to deal with the ‘after’ of cancer. (here is an example). I didn’t have one of those. My first hand cancer experience was either you died (my mom, my friend, my uncle, my aunt) or you were totally fine and rose like a Phoenix (the few ‘super survivors’ that I met). At no point did I meet someone who told me: ‘yes, you are going to live, but you are going to be in pain and frustrated and won’t feel like yourself’. Coming to terms with this is proving to be even harder than coming to terms with the cancer itself. I wasn’t surprised when I found out I had cancer. I am surprised by how hard this part is.