At least, that is what Dr. Movie Star called me today.
So last week was pretty fucking crappy. It ended with a cancelled plastic surgery appointment because he got stuck in the O.R. saving someone’s arm or something… the nerve! Anyhow, he was super duper kind and called me Friday night and reassured me that he would find a solution. I met with him today. I am getting implants. The simple regular reconstruction. But not for the reasons that I thought. Not because the DIEP is too risky and the recovery is too long. Because the expanders are not working.
Well, the right one is working. It’s a very small B right now. But the left one, the radiated side, it’s not expanding. The implant/expander is getting bigger, but the skin in not stretching. The tissue is so damaged from the radiation that instead of pushing outwards and stretching the skin, the expanders are now DENTING my ribs.
This is why I am in pain all the time. I am not crazy. I am not a wuss. The frigging expander is pushing inwards and DENTING MY RIBS. So regardless of my choice of risk-management, he wouldn’t do the modified-DIEP he was planning. The only way he would do it would be with skin grafts, and that is just not going to happen.
So he signed the request and we are waiting for 1 hour in the O.R. to yank these tissue expanders out and replace them with small implants. Very small implants. I won’t be flat, but I won’t be holding up any tube-tops either.
The thing is, I’m in pain all the time. on a good day, it’s a 2-3 on the pain scale. On a bad day, it’s a 5/6 for a few hours at a time. That’s why he called me a Pain Ninja. It doesn’t help that it’s the same side that I broke my rib, so sometime I’ll move and feel a stabbing pain. He promised me as soon as he removes the expanders, I will feel relief. If you happen to be the hospital administrator that books O.R. time, can you find me a slot ASAP? *okthanksbye*