Oct 29


Holy S*$*%*%*%!

This is really happening. They gave me a tentative schedule for radiation last week, but scrolled across it, in big letters, is WILL CALL TO CONFIRM.

They called today. Thursday, 1 pm, I get radiated.

I’ve had months to think about this, weeks to actually look into this. And you know what? I feel totally unprepared. I know a lot about radiation. My mom had it. Our friend S. had it. I’ve heard EVERY story: you’ll get no burn, you’ll get a horrible burn, it’s WAY easier than chemo, it’s SO MUCH worse than chemo….

You know what I’m worried about? What to wear…. I know, I am so unbelievably shallow. But this is a practical question. I don’t wear a bra anymore. Nothing to hold in, no nipples to poke through. But I feel so weird, so naked under my tops. So I wear tanks tops. Because if you have ever felt your skin against a blouse all day, let me tell you, it’s SUPER weird. So tank tops, lots and lots of tanks tops. I wear one every day. Keeps my 8 y.o. from seeing my scars AND provides a layer of comfort between me and my clothes. But the tank tops I like are tight, sort of a compression thing, more like bras/spanxs than wife-beaters. Except everything I have been told or read about radiation is that you need loose clothing. Several people have emailed me to tell me they stripped in their car on the way home.
Great. My #1 referral search on Google right now is ‘peeing in your car’. Next up: ‘stripping in your car’ (seriously, how has The Bloggess not picked up on this?)

I wish there was a yahoo group (there might be) for pre-rads, like there was pre-China. Do I need to bring ketchup packets, an inflatable tub, a hot water bottle? (no/no/yes) I need to find the KLBs of radiation (I know, this means nothing to most of you)

I was going to write this tomorrow, but might as well get it over with now. I’m doing NaBloPoMo. Which means I will blog every single day in November. It’s like 2006 all over again (I failed in 2006. and in 2007). I won’t post links on FB everyday, even though Google Analytics tells me 75% of you need a FB reminder to click on the link****. Sorry. You will get 1 weekly reminder, that’s it. But I will be here. For about 45 days, because NaBloPoMo is daily, rads are work-days only, so my schedule goes through mid December. Instagram pics totally count as a post.

This game in ON!

**** Other fun facts from Google Analytics: almost 1000 daily hits, all continents except Antartica (why is my cousin Chuck NOT reading my blog? or maybe he’s been furlonged). 63% of you read my blog on an iPhone… remember when actual computers were a thing? And yet, no matter what I say, I will never, ever equal the number of hits I still get on the old blog about Kelly Pickler’s hair….


PS: if you Sent Me a Song, THANK YOU so much!!! if you don’t know what I’m talking about, clearly, you are not reading all my posts. I forgive you. Now go back and read what you missed.


PPS: now I need to edit this post and add: READ THE COMMENTS. Jenny, aka, The Bloggess, yes, she of Beyonce the fucking giant metal chicken, commented. On My Blog. When you wish upon the internet…. you meet Molly Ringwald AND The Bloggess comments on your blog.



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  1. nance

    All I know about radiation. I learner from Good Harbor…no assvice

  2. Jenny, Bloggess

    I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone show up on my blog from “peeing in a car”. Peeing ON a car” maybe though.

  3. outrunningthecloud

    and now I can die.

    Jenny, The Bloggess, has commented on my blog. fuck radiation. I’m good.

  4. HamHams

    Why doesn’t this thing have a “like” button?!!

  5. Karyn

    I suspect this has be discussed and rejected but I do wonder about a silk or “silk” camisole. But it might feel to loose or too slip-slidey. I hope you find the right thing.

    I am one of the sad folks who likes the FB reminder but think I can manage to check her or feedly to check in and hear what you have to say.

    W/re music, I’ve been thinking of my favorite songs all day trying to find some that might fit the bill. Unfortunately all my favorite songs make me weep or feel like dancing with joy (until I listen to some of the lyrics and then I get frustrated with the writing).

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