«

»

Oct 17

‘Your heart is not exactly in the right place’

That’s a direct quote from Dr. M, the radio oncologist this morning…

Mmwaaaahhhh! How seriously funny is that? The humor, it just never stops! It’s gets even better:

My heart, while generally where it’s supposed to be, is a little too close to the cavity they need to zap, and they don’t want to zap my heart unnecessarily. For this reason, they will use a different radiation technique that involves being in the machine for 45 min instead of 15, because I’m always special like that.

The best part? I will need to do something called DEEP CONTROLLED BREATHING so they can zap when my heart is out of the way. Me! The spastic-breather who is failing at Pilates, will be responsible for keeping my heart out of the beam’s way.

Yes, you may begin laughing hysterically now.

6 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. Joanne

    “not exactly in the right place” is way better than “not at all in the right place”…..

  2. Nance

    Good GOD, woman. Can you NOT have any extra complications? Geez. Maybe you can learn this Deep breathing crap so you can learn how to calm? Or Relax? HA HA HA HA! If you learn it, let me know.

    Seriously, that is annoying that you get to waste another 30 minutes… Gah! (I fully support getting out of pants and getting some wine NOW)

  3. Nat

    I am.

  4. Debberoo

    Trust you to have a “special” heart 😉 glad it wasn’t something worse, huge relief! Yes, deep breathing for 45 mins would be a challenge in itself without having to worry about your heart being zapped! Do they have someone who can teach you the technique? Hopefully you will sleep better tonight, I just wish they could have just said “we need to check your heart position” instead of letting the imagination run wild with why they needed to do another scan!

  5. Liz

    seriously? only you.

  6. Karyn

    This just begs for a “your heart is in the right place” riff but I can’t come up with anything! Can you teach us all the deep breathing?

Comments have been disabled.