Mar 25

I still can’t look

It’s been 10 days. Yesterday, i had a different kind of soreness than I’ve had until now and I thought I might have a wound-infection. The only way to know would be to look for redness and feel for heat. I was able to put my hand on it and feel for heat, but I just could not look. even though it was super important, the IDEA of looking made me so anxious, i started to panic. A and R, both on the other end of their screens, talked me down and I did in fact pull on my tank just enough to look at the one sore spot, which looked ok. But the scar…. oh man, I thought for a minute i would just get it over with and look, and i couldn’t. 

By this morning, I was fine. I think I’m just suddenly feeling the expanders a lot more, probably regaining a bit of feeling in the general area, and the expanders are hard and push/pull on everything. 

I will need to look. I still can’t look.