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May 19

‘I thought you were too buzy’

I just got home from diving with Youngest. I rushed to spend time with Oldest, who is off for a loooooong 4 day weekend. Conversation goes:

Me: Tell me 3 things about today
Her: I had chicken for lunch, I am texting all the people in my class to see if anyone can hang out tomorrow and there was an art exhibit at school tonight but I didn’T tell you because you are too busy.
Me: <insert uncontrollable ugly crying here> WHY??? Why didn’t you tell me????

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Again, we go back to this issue of time. There is not enough time. My 13 y.o. was showing off her art work, which I am certain was stunning because she is an amazing artist, but she didn’t tell me it was happening. Because I’m too busy.

My kids, they keep trying to protect me. They tell me or don’t tell me, they share or don’t share, because they are protecting me.

I keep telling them: TELL ME EVERYTHING. Let me figure out how to make it happen.

OK, so if I had known, DiverGirl would have sucked it up and missed 1 session. AND WOULD HAVE SUPPORTED HER SISTER. But we didn’t. Because I didn’t even know it was happening.

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Adult conversations:

Random Adult: You look great! You must LOVE working, keeps your mind off things

Me, internally <you are saying words but I am not processing them. why am I here? shouldn’t I be somewhere else?>
Me, out loud: oh yeah, work it great. the girls are great. we are GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Except I missed my kid’s art exhibit. And there is no do-over for that.