May 20

I’m bald

Timing is everything. Just yesterday morning, I wrote a post about Adjustments. So far, all the alone-time was the hardest.

Not one hour later, my hair started hurting. As L. said to me last night, I didn’t know hair could hurt. I guess technically it was probably my scalp. Every tiny little spot where my hair touched my head was on fire yesterday. I couldn’t touch it, it was so painful. Combined with the metal-taste and wicked heartburn, yesterday was pretty much the worst day so far. 

Then I started shedding, like my dogs. Every time I accidentally touched my hair, I would shed a little. Not in clumps like people had told me, just shedding. I put a scarf on my head to keep it from going everywhere, but I knew it was just a matter of time.

After breakfast this morning (less metal-taste, yeah!) I took a shower. I told J. and the kids that we would see how much hair fell out in the shower and then decide what to do. R. had offered to come shave my head this week. But I clogged the shower within 3 minutes. Again, not clumps, couldn’t really tell where it was falling from, thinning from everywhere. But shower completely clogged. Stepped out of the shower and towel dried my hair. Shoulders totally covered. Nope, this is not going to do.

Called J. and the girls in, grabbed the clippers and voila, I am now bald. I can’t control the metal-taste or the heartburn, I have a little bit of control over the nausea and the fatigue. But this is mine to control. Hair, gone.