Jan 18

the Dead Husband Card

When I had breast cancer, I didn’t use the Breast-Cancer-Card very often, but when I did, it was always very useful.

This weekend, after not travelling for an entire year, the kids and I drove down to Plattsburgh for a little cross border shopping. First, we stopped by the mail-forwarding place to pick up the 4 packages that were sitting there waiting for my husband – boy was that a waste of a trip! We found bluetooth headphones (Belkins, not Beats), a t-shirt called Dogs Camping (no clue), a belkin travel power-strip/usb charger and, best of all, a nose-hair trimmer…. Not sure what’s special about it or why it had to be shipped to the US, guess we will never know.

After making youngest child wear the t-shirt, oldest child wear the headphones around her neck like a good tween and sticking the power bar into the car emergency pack, I was left only with the nose-hair trimmer…. (listen, why pay duty when you don’t have to)

We hit up 5 Guys so we could use the fancy soda machine and make the sodas of our dreams, then the dollar section at Target where I got enough cool file folders to actually take on the task of organizing my dead-husband’s papers (and a US iTunes cards, duh) and finally, the grocery store for all the kosher stuff that we can’t get north of the border. At the last second, we popped into Bed Bath and Beyond and the girls each spent 40$ on crappy toys (a snow scooter and a fake 80s Atari console)

Grand total: 120$ of groceries (no duty), 68$ at Target and 80$ at BBB.

We got to the border, 3 bills in hand. The Border Guard asked me the standard questions: where do you live, are those your kids, how long were you in the States, why such a short trip. So that’s when I dropped it. The New Widow card….

‘My husband died 2 weeks ago. The kids wanted to go mix soda at 5 Guys and I let them spent 40$ each at BBB. Oh and I bought groceries and 60$ worth of crap at Target, here are the bills’

The border guard never got past the new widow, dead husband thing. Gave me my bills and waved me right through. I should have gone shoe shopping.

Next time, I will tell you all about the Voice Drop….