Monthly Archive: January 2016

Jan 27

His Stuff

J was in the hospital for a year. At some point, he stopped wearing even pjs and tshirts and was stuck in hospital gowns. So since we were selling the house and moving, we got a head start on packing by putting all his clothes in suitcases a good month before we moved. Once we …

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Jan 24

I am NOT good at everything

Every couple somehow shares household duties. In our house, a lot of stuff fell on my shoulders because I was the handy one and the creative one. J on the other hand was extra organized, so he took care of ALL the paperwork. This worked for us both at home and at the store. I …

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Jan 19

Dear Pencil-Pusher: You suck at your job

When someone dies where I live, nothing can happen until an official death certificate is received in the mail, 5-10 business days after the form is submitted by the funeral home. On Friday, 5 very expensive copies of said death certificate arrived in the mail. I knew they were coming, but I have to admit …

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Jan 18

the Dead Husband Card

When I had breast cancer, I didn’t use the Breast-Cancer-Card very often, but when I did, it was always very useful. This weekend, after not travelling for an entire year, the kids and I drove down to Plattsburgh for a little cross border shopping. First, we stopped by the mail-forwarding place to pick up the …

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Jan 15

My New Uniform

In the olden days, widows had very strict guidelines on how to dress. When they went out into the world, it was clear: they are widows in mourning. During my chemo, I went out of my way to dress up whenever I left the house: cute dresses with boots, scarves on my head, I even …

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Jan 14


I started blogging in 2002, on the now-defunct Diaryland. I blogged through my infertility treatments, and it brought into my life some amazing women that I still count as friends today. It also brought #floorcake, #dirtyunderpantsgirl and so many other words that helped me get through tough times. (we didn’t use hashtags back then, but …

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Jan 11

So, Now What?

8 days ago, my husband died. 8 days ago, I became a widow. When you marry someone with chronic illness with no chance of a cure, you know one day, you will be a widow. The only question was when. My husband was a fighter and he gave it is all: years of treatments, pills …

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