Category Archive: Uncategorized

Jan 10

4 years

4 years ago in January, I found out I had breast cancer. I won’t retell the whole story, but it’s here if you are curious or a new reader. I cannot believe everything that has happened in the last 4 years – I don’t even recognize my life anymore: the store is gone, my husband …

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Dec 31

Dear 2017:

People start the new year with resolutions, I want to start mind with wishes. Not even goals, I’m not ready to set goals yet. Wishes, simple, not grand, just simple. In 2017: I hope to go to less than 8 funerals I hope to go to more birthday or dinner parties than funerals (see above) …

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Dec 17

a big giant F-you to 2016

this year man….. the world is a giant clusterfuck, and yet, 2016 doesn’t want to give me a break, all the way to the last second. These days, I cannot avoid reading my ‘Memories’ on Facebook. I know I should just skip it, but I can’t. It’s a day-by-day reminder of the last days of …

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Nov 30

Losing and Finding my Footing

I keep not blogging because I don’t want to be the Debbie-downer of blogging. Death and grief are ugly, and even when you think you have your shit together and you are moving forward, you are totally making it up as you go along. I thought I was on a upswing, I was getting stuff …

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Oct 24

Blame it on the cold

In the last couple of days, I find the hours after the kids go to bed to be more painful and lonely than usual. I mean, I’m used to it. I’ve had no one to talk to after 9 pm for 2 1/2 years. But when the cold comes, when it’s super dark outside, somehow, …

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Oct 19

Not OK

So I thought I was ok. For a while, I thought I had found my groove, that we had things going, that I was going to be ok. And ┬áthen I wasn’t. I’m not ok,We don’t have a groove, it’s a shit show. Im not saying this so you feel sorry for me. I’m being …

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Oct 10

Dear Assholes

    the totally UNsubtle wording of the announcement in the paper….. EVERYONE called me to ask me what that was about. the totally UNsubtle speech? If you were hoping to make a point to the girls, it didn’t work. Their comment? ‘Wow, that was SO MEAN. Why did he do that?’   Thank you. …

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Oct 01

I can’t come up with a title

I have a whole post burning inside of me about the Jewish Holidays, our first Rosh Hashana without J, all the crap that we are going through and dealing with, but I can’t get it together….. so instead: it’s October, Breast Cancer Awareness month….. you know what, I am VERY aware. Please don’t buy any …

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Sep 07

Grief is an ugly Bitch

yesterday, I got one of the emails I have gotten way too often: ‘dear friends, I am writing to tell you that *johnfreedman* passed away yesterday. The funeral will be….’ *johnfreedman* was not his real name (his family should never google him and come up in this inane rambling), but when you read the name …

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Aug 14

Figuring me out

Last night I had dinner with a sweet friend who pointed out – ‘you haven’t blogged all summer! Nobody knows what you’ve been up to!’ She’s right. The girls come home on Tuesday, after 6 weeks away. I was worried about my first real summer alone – last year, I was still visiting J at …

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