School ended, the kids were home with their faces attached to their screens for a week, then we went camping (seriously, I still don’t know how that happened) and then we went to the annual Canada Day extravaganza at Vodka-and-Cotton-Candy’s house. This time, I took my kids. They loved it, they loved her, they loved her kids. (seriously, best nickname EVER)
And then they left for camp, 2 days later. And #solosummer started, again, second time around.
Luckily, I am surrounded by amazing friends, so my first night alone I had dinner with a super dear friend and her only child in town. Oh and her husband!. Then I had a birthday dinner with my amazing lady-friends – Sushi and too much wine and lots of cake. I am 46, which is totally the new 36. ok I made that up.
Then the world imploded and people got killed for driving-while-black and I lost my shit on Facebook. Because I have had enough. And I grew balls the size of softballs and I posted too much and I said things I have said in my head a thousand times but never out loud.
And then I realised – This is the summer of finding myself again. I got lost in the trauma of living with someone who was dying, and I did things and allowed things because they made life easier. But no more.
Tonight, I went to see my absolute favorite comedian, who is highly NOT PC, with one of my most special dearest friends. A year ago, she was a stranger. Now, I can’t even imagine my life without her.
And we stood in the lobby near the bar nursing our over-priced drinks, looking around and imagining what life might be for me now: Man-buns are a no (except on that one Asian dude who totally rocked it), Beards are a definite yes, the lumber-jack look is quite appealing, the smell of cigarettes is a TOTAL non-starter, I have self-confidence issues and will aim low to avoid disappointment.
The world is in absolute total chaos. I don’t know where to even begin to work on fixing it. I don’t know where to begin on fixing myself. But hey, it’s summer and I only need to work and keep the pets alive ’til the kids come home!